


Duped

by desk_mess



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reverse Portal (Gravity Falls), Family Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26993032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desk_mess/pseuds/desk_mess
Summary: (Reverse Portal AU) Stan and Dipper discover they have a lot more in common than they thought.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Stan Pines
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	Duped

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by @hurricanelistmaker. There may be some references to the RP Mind Wipe AU. This just really reminded me of it.

The past week had been an absolute whirlwind of weird. Not just the Gravity Falls type of ultimately harmless. No, this weird was a weird that could've destroyed the world if done incorrectly. First, the youngest Pines discovered their seemingly boring Great-Uncle Ford was building a doomsday device in a basement they knew nothing about. Second, from that portal arrives another great-uncle the youngest Pines knew nothing about! 

On the topic of Great-Uncle Ford, Dipper couldn't find him anywhere. Someone had moved the axolotl feed to where Dipper couldn't reach it. Judging by the muffled bangs from below the house, Ford was down in the basement again, where the children weren't allowed. The younger twins hadn't seen hide nor hair of their caretaker since his brother returned. 

Great-Uncle (or Grunkle, as he insisted the children call him) Stan was a pretty cool guy though. In the past week, he'd already taught Dipper and Mabel how to box, sword fight, and swindle some suckers from town. Dipper questioned his morals but went along with his lessons anyways. Stan had even questionably obtained a sketchbook for Dipper to write in instead of Great-Uncle Ford's old journal. 

Back to the problem at hand for the youngest Pines, someone had moved the axolotl feed. There weren't any step ladders in the house that Dipper knew of and standing on the couch to reach the little blue canister seemed too risky. 

Dipper left for the nearest room noise came from: the kitchen. "Great-Uncle Ford!" 

* * *

Stan swore in all the languages he'd learned. He was going to go mad living here! He'd only lived here a week and he was getting sick of all this organic junk Ford lived on. The cranky old nerd was spending all of his waking hours in the basement pulling apart the portal without help. 

Seriously though, how did his nutters brother and the children live on this "health food" junk? Fruits and vegetables? Gross. It was quite possibly worse than what Stan scrounged up in the multiverse! That at least  _ tasted _ like meat! 

Stan was just about tempted to murder Mabel's pig if it meant he could get some good grub. He didn't care if she hated him for it! 

He did. 

She was wonderful. 

At a loss, Stan grabbed a piece of bread and stuffed it in his mouth, satiating his dripping appetite. From the doorway, Dipper called out for his dumb drunk great-uncle. 

* * *

Dipper stopped short in the kitchen doorway, his next call dying on his lips. Leaning back on his heels to see the higher cupboard shelves was the boy's estranged, one-armed, great-uncle. "Great-Uncle Stan?" The man in question spun around dangerously quick and stumbled. A piece of bread hung from the man's mouth. 

"Um." Stan's mouth fell open and the saliva-soggy half-eaten piece of bread hit the tile floor with a disgusting  _ squelch. _ Both men's eyes met the bread on the floor, Dipper with a grossed out cringe. "Um." Stan muttered again, face barely flushed from being caught. He reached out a booted foot and shoved the bread under the lip of the lower cabinets before looking up at Dipper and waving his hand. "You din't see nothin'." Stan said darkly. Dipper nodded, choking back his comment on the double negative with a scared squeak. Stan's demeanor shifted suddenly to a more playful tone and he crossed over to Dipper, throwing his arm around the boy's shoulders. "Whatcha need, squirt?" 

"Someone moved the axolotl feed and I can't reach it now." Dipper lamented as Stan returned to the task of overturning the whole kitchen. Dipper finally stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. 

"Sounds like a you problem, kiddo." 

Hoping to use his own tricks against him, Dipper looked for a bargaining chip. "What are you looking for?" Had Stan actually rubbed off on him that quickly? Dipper supposed he saw a lot more of Stan than Ford. The boy shivered, uncomfortable with that train of thought. They should probably make sure Ford was okay if the increase in frequency of the bangs from below was anything to go by.

"You're smart, whaddya think?" Before Dipper could even start reasoning, Stan interrupted again. "I'm lookin' for somethin' to eat that isn't boring or  _ vegetarian _ ." He spit the last word out with such distaste that Dipper let out a crackly little laugh. Bargaining chip acquired. Now he just had to use it. 

"Good luck with that, man." Stan turned to glower at the petite twelve-year-old. For the peeved façade the man put up, Dipper could see the intrigue behind it. "Get me the axolotl feed and I'll let you eat from Mabel and I's food stash?" Stan didn't look convinced. "We have beef jerky." That got the conman's attention. The cupboard door slammed shut and echoed in the kitchen space. 

"Thank Moses for you, kid!" Dipper smiled mischievously. "Why are you-- Hey wait a minute!" Dipper burst out laughing and headed to the living room, leaving a proud and spluttering Stan in his wake.

* * *

After recovering from being duped by the little miscreant, Stan followed Dipper into the living room. In a wooden case sat the axolotl tank, the little pink salamander floating around and bonking into the glass walls. 

"Y'know I met a sentient axolotl once." Stan said as he reached up for the canister the kid indicated. 

"Really?" He scream-asked. Stan covered his ear with his remaining hand then held out the canister to Dipper. 

"Jeez kid, you're worse than Poindexter!" The old man mumbled. 

"Speaking of-"  _ Moses, you talk just like him _ . "-where is Great-Uncle Ford?" 

"Oh he's prob'ly off doin' unholy science in the basement." Stan knew very well what his brother was doing. He was sitting alone in the basement, trying to tear apart the portal, running purely on vodka and bourbon. Ironically, another bang sounded and rattled the frame of the house. 

Stan and Dipper watched the axolotl float about in comfortable silence. Dipper dropped a couple pellets into the water and with a ferocity that should be strictly reserved for sharks, the axolotl snapped out and caught the tiny pellets in its little mouth. The two watched the little salamander swim around for a bit, its fronds flicking as Stan spoke up again. "So... ya got any other weird pets?" 

"We had a compsognathus for a little while. It started stealing Great-Uncle Ford's pens, though." There was an unmistakable sadness in the boy's voice so Stan laid a hand on his shoulder. "We gave him to Farmer Sprott to take care of." Dipper pulled out his journal and showed the sketches of the chicken-sized dinosaur to Stan. 

"Oh man that's cool. I'd love to go visit him if we can." 

"Oh, yeah, we visit him every once in a while. He's really happy with Farmer Sprott." Dipper paused for a minute. "Did you ever see any dinosaurs in the multiverse?" 

"No, I didn't. Woulda been cool though. Any other pets?" 

"Yeah," Dipper took Stan's hand and led him out to a small pond a little ways into the forest. Stan was instantly on high alert. Dipper sat down by the bank but Stan stayed standing, surveying the area. 

"Great-Uncle Ford has a pet plaidypus. He had this pond built a little after he found her. She was abandoned by her mother when she was a baby because her bill was cracked and her tail was damaged." Stan could immediately feel the hurt in his heart at that. Said pain only intensified when the strange red plaid patterned creature emerged from the water and rubbed up against Dipper's hand, beckoning pets. Dipper giggled and patted the weird little thing on the head, making its tail  _ paff  _ against the grass. 

Stan just watched, frozen in curiosity and sadness when a little tug at his pant leg caught his attention. Looking down, he found an even smaller plaidypus chewing on his pant leg with the same chipped bill and malformed tail. The mother came over to retrieve her child and Stan just watched in wonder as mother and baby bonded, laying down in the grass together. 

"What can you tell me about the axolotl you met?" Dipper spoke up softly, breaking Stan away from the pair of plaidypus. Deciding the place was safe enough, Stan sat down next to Dipper who took out a notepad and pen. As Stan began his story, he gesticulated wildly, completely enthralling Dipper.

"Well it was huge! Like the size of a whale!..." 

**Author's Note:**

> Remember: You are loved and cherished and we'd hate to lose you <3.


End file.
